Days by days…its like dooms day for me….i juz cant forgive myself for all these thing..haiz…i dun knoe wad should i say….quite long no come to blog…hmmm….all those memory..it will always in my brain..and kept inside my heart…forever..never be washed….
today…its been soo horrible…tis type of me came back since the last past few years…one whole night cant even close my freaking eyes….blaming myself…for all those thing i had done…y..y did i take tis step???in my brain…the words that flows out in my brain is juz the only word…sorry…sorry…sorry…sorry…sorry…and sorry…for all this thing…last night…i finally realize..u’re really apart inside my heart…now..in my heart..there is a hole…a hole tat is specially for u…now i realize..i cant lose u..u meant too much for me already…really soo much…can i get a chance in turning back??plz…i really hope all this thing didnt happen…if i still do get a chance…i’ll really appreciate it…nvr letting it go off…no matter wad…i knoe now its hard for things to turn back now…i hope after few days…whn things are not that serious…i still hope u can spare me a chance…plz…i really i can get back the position i use to be for u…i beg u for forgiveness…please…forgive a freak like me…..i am sorry…..
One day, at campus….lonely walking by cafeteria..saw ur frens sitting thr..but try to look for ur exist..but..didn’t manage to..after finding frens at student council….went to cafeteria to haf some rest….once i step into cafeteria…i saw ur shadow…but…take a closer look…its u..really u..i dun knoe wad should i do…pull up my head ma?or should i juz leave that place…by that time..my heart is really confuse..but i sat down…after awhile..saw u passed my side..leaving thr…its like…every step u walk is like slicing my heart slice by slice….i got nothing to say…but…haiz..i still cant thinking of u..really cant stop…i still cant let go off my feeling toward u…i dun knoe wad should i do…really…how..what should i do???tell me..tell me wad should i do…haiz…these days..u didnt online..or was it juz escaping from me? am i thinking too much??haiz…really…i dun knoe wad should i say anymore…haiz….do i still haf a chance???do i still get a chance staying beside u ma???hmmm???haiz…..
on the way home from campus…suddenly..phone ring…once i took up the phone..i juz got a bad feeling for it…but no matter wad..i still haf to see it…today i went over quite lots of bad things…which make me already moodless…but i keep making myself happy…turn myself into a mad person…but..once i open up the sms….it was like suddenly…few thousands sword stab straight into my heart…the second i done is throwing my phone down…i nearly thinking throwing out the window…its really hurt..tis time..i bad injured….deeply injured…i dun knoe wad should i say anymore…i really dun wan this to happen…but…in the msg…u’re blaming urself for everything…u should knoe…blaming urself for everything makes me like i’m the bad ppl…let u carry all the fault…i really dun wan tis to happen…really…if there is ways of turning back…i really wish to…really…now i’m seeking wad i had actually done bad…i’m thinking where i had done not gud enuf for u…i dun wan to lose u…maybe u’re already been apart of my life….it seems that almost everytime ur image will flow infront of my eyes…i cant stop tis thing to keep happening…but…it juz happened…u said that u will always supports my decision…but..cant this decision be over come??now…i dun knoe y am i typing tis..but tat…i juz wan to express my feeling out…i dun knoe how to tell u all tis…i dun wan u been bothered by my problems…i knoe u had been soo bz with ur studies..and the pressure given by ur parents…made u stressful…but..can u tell me…wad can i do…wad else can i do…plz…really..issit there is no turning back dy???huh?no more other choice to choose???haiz…everyday i online..saw ur nick…guessing out ur problems thru ur personal msg..dun even dare to double click ur name and talk to……wad a useless ppl i am…dun even haf the str to talk to a human…wad a coward am i…haiz…really..really confuse..speechless..and i’m totally not me…i cant find the "me" which i suppose to be…haiz…nothing to say…maybe i’ll write out a story on the 1st time that i met u..and already fell for u…see how many parts can i remembers….maybe tis can makes me feel much better…really…haiz…
